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DEAR KERYGMA
WILL GOD FORGIVE AND FORGET?
Dear KERYGMA,
Greetings of love and peace!
I'm 25 years old and at present working abroad.
I had a boyfriend before. The relationship lasted for three years. Ours was a long-distance love affair. He works in Manila while I was in the province, but the set-up was okay. The relationship was smooth sailing, though problems often come and go. When we celebrated our first year anniversary as steadies, I agreed to go to bed with him. Not just once, twice or thrice, but countless of times. When I have time, I go to Manila to be with him, or he visits me in the province and we kept doing that sinful act. We were planning of getting married after two years. But then, things didn't turn out the way we planned them.
One day he broke the news to me. He's going to enter the seminary! It was as if a bomb was dropped on me. I thought it was all a joke, but later I realized he wasn't joking. I really cried and was very hurt. Saying goodbye was the hardest that I could do at that time, but I had to let him go.
Up to now, I still have pain in my heart. I really questioned God why He let that incident happen. All the while, I thought we were meant for each other. I knew it was my boyfriend's desire to serve God by being a priest, but since he was the breadwinner, he had to consider a lot of things.
It's been eight months since our last communication and I'm not sure if he really pursued that dream. I really have no news of his whereabouts.
Now, I'm so afraid to fall in love and trust anybody again. Do you think there'd be someone who would still love me despite my past? I want to leave everything behind and move on, but the more I try to forget, the more I remember. Will God forgive me for the sin I've committed? I regularly attend Mass but I don't receive communion.
Please help me!
Sinful fellow,
THE ADVICE Given by Fr. Rudy Horst, SVD
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